Finding peace with menopause part 1.

About 1 year ago I was diagnosed with hormone positive breast cancer. Long story short some cells in my right breast found a way to conquer death and became immortal. These cells had an ultra boost of a superpower of using my body’s hormones of estrogen and progesterone to thrive and grow. My body loves estrogen, I mean it made my skin radiant, my hair full, thick, and shiny, and made it so easy for me to build muscle when I was power lifting. Normally during chemotherapy women’s periods stop and the ovaries go into sleep mode. Not mine! I got my period like clockwork without fail. It was actually comforting that my body was still on a clock and could somehow bypass the nuclear bomb going off in my body through chemotherapy. Part of my ongoing maintenance therapy includes estrogen deprivation, aka medical menopause. I always had a vision of myself transitioning to menopause in a very delicate and gentle process. In reality it was like I was running in a full sprint, closed my eyes to sneeze and crashed into the brick wall in front of me. Suddenly I was left with a body that felt fragile, vulnerable, brittle, and confused. Why did everything hurt? Why wasn’t my hair growing back, or continuing to fall out? My skin was so dusky and dry, and the constant hot flashes and night sweats were so maddening. I was not prepared for life saving therapy to make these irreversible changes so suddenly. So I will be trying to find peace with menopause in a couple of posts as I sift through this new state. This might not be for everyone as some women transition into menopause in phases or steps. But I hope anyone who reads this will give me space and grace to find peace with this and maybe share with anyone else who has found themselves at this major milestone in their lives.